I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
