I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
where am i from again
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
