He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
