Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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