I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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