Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
