Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Damn victory sex feels great
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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