Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
