I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
