singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
