Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
