well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize