it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
