I want to stick my p in your. b.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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