You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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