? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
