Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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