how can u be prego again
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
