When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
