You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm both gender and math confused
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
