i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
