Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
