Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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