I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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