i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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