You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
