life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
