I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize