talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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