u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
