I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize