At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
