I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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