I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
