So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize