I need help removing her.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
