Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
All I want is dick and wine.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
