I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
