We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
