Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
