Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
