I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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