No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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