it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
