so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
