He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
