i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
