did you get engaged???
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Found your dick twin last night
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize