i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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