Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
