If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
