i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
