Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
