Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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