dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
