I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
