Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
