Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
