I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
