I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
