I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize