btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
