no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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