he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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