so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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